


How to (Not) Have a Healthy Dating Life

by HazelGatoya



Series: Stories for Shigure Comissions [4]
Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Also twins are here, And Sophie is a cute, And baby Shiro, Azama voted for the Deeprealms, F/M, Gen, Inigo you FOOL, Post-War, So yeah XD, Something this author agrees wholeheartedly with, Stories for Shigure, Used with permission, accidental infidelity?, baneofloslorien5384 does NOT do poly, but he DOES do humiliation, feeling low about yourself, go figure, making it up to your wife, one guy dating two girls, post-Revelations, there's no cure but maybe laughter IS the best medicine?, they could start a club, they're trying hard enough, this is NOT poly, uses a heacanon created by TheWerdna, we have an epidemic of ridiculously young grandparents, why HASN'T the universe exploded?, you know the drill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-08-04 10:24:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16344995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HazelGatoya/pseuds/HazelGatoya
Summary: Shigure gets a rather ridiculous story about his uncle's retainer out of his father at the party celebrating the birth of his new siblings.





	How to (Not) Have a Healthy Dating Life

**Author's Note:**

> Well this took ficking forever, didn't it? BUT IT'S DONE, I PRESENT LASLOW'S HUMILIATION. Take it and enjoyyyyyyy. XD

     Shigure couldn't help but suspect that the ones in charge of the decorations for the gala had been Jakob and Flora. There was a definite water theme, what with the silver streamers, deep blue carpets, and the white tablecloths with silver embroidery that were set across the many long tables in the hall that were groaning under piles of food. The blue paled as it moved from the entrance to the two soft gold chairs set on the podium where Father and Mother would be sitting when not moving about the hall, the carpet giving way to a deep, leafy green once it reached the podium. It was a beautiful set-up, even to his picky eyes.  
  
     He knew he wasn't the only one who thought so, either. Auntie Lilith, who was presently hovering above in her dragon form, was threading her way through the silver streamers, looking about the giant gala hall as she did. He wasn't able to read her expressions since she was so high up, but he could tell that she was pleased by the way she seemed to be dancing as she moved in the air. Aunt Elise was in the middle of the ballroom, waving wildly at... well, pretty much everything as she talked to Aunt Sakura. Uncle Leo was standing near one of the tables with Uncle Takumi, talking to a very pleased looking Jakob- ah, he had guessed at the butler's involvement in the decor as well.   
  
     "Man, but you guys know how to throw a party!" He blinked, turning to see Laslow and a grinning woman with somewhat messy dark blue hair approaching him, Mother, and the twins. Queen Camilla was behind both of them, clad in a stunning black Nohrian dress and with her ever-present gentle smile- no longer pregnant, just like Mother. Of course, this meant that Aunt Camilla had promptly appointed herself as Aunt Hinoka’s pregnancy coach. It also explained why Aunt Hinoka was the only family member actively chatting with the guests, all of whom “just happened” to be halfway across the hall.  "We would never have anything this grand back in Grandpa's court," the woman continued. "And! And, and... you have the cutest kids  _ever_ , Queen Azura! Can I hold one?"  
  
     Mother chuckled softly, adjusting her grip on Kana and Kamui. "Well, I suppose I'm not really in a position to refuse."  
  
     "Great!"   
  
     "Excitement check, Morgan," Laslow warned lightly as the woman carefully picked up Kana.  
  
     "I know, I know. He's so adorable, though," The woman-Morgan-cooed as Kana settled in her arms, leaning his head against her dark blue and black dress. "And so  _calm._ "  
  
     "Kana's the most easy-going baby of my three," Mother agreed, moving Kamui into a more comfortable position as she babbled and squirmed. "Shigure here was always very fussy about who got to hold him, and Kamui's just a bundle of energy."  
  
     "I remember that," Queen Camilla chuckled, smiling down at Shigure. "You never liked me much as a baby."  
  
     Shigure shifted uncomfortably under the sudden attention. He didn't really like Queen Camilla's poking and prodding at the age he was right now, either, but he did like her. "I don't remember that," he replied truthfully, retreating a bit behind Mother's chair, causing both women to giggle softly.  
  
     "Aw, he's shy." Morgan grinned again. "That's nothing a couple of rounds of tome stackers couldn't fix, though."  
  
     "I don't think he'd be interested," Laslow spoke up, shaking his head slightly. "Shigure tends to read books instead of stack them."  
  
     "Come on, Inigo, he's still a kid." Morgan puffed her cheeks out slightly at the solitary man here before her expression became thoughtful. "That does mean I'd have an unfair advantage, though, since I could stack them higher than he could reach." She looked down at Shigure again. "Doesn't the thought of stacking tomes as high as they can go sound exciting, though?"   
  
     "...I do like heights," he offered hesitantly. Flying with his aunts and looking out high windows in the tower was fun. "And books."  
  
     "Fact remains that he'd have to at least be able to stack them into a tower high enough to crush his esteemed father before he could even compete with you, dear," Laslow pointed out, and Shigure blinked.  
  
     "I'm still unsure of how anyone from the old army can call Corrin an esteemed  _anything_ ," Mother remarked dryly, though she was also looking a bit concerned now.  
  
     "Ehhhh? Does that mean that King Corrin and Father are the same height?" Morgan exclaimed, gaze locked on Laslow.  
  
     Shigure's golden eyes found Kana's gray ones while Laslow started explaining that height had nothing to do with it, an uncharacteristic look of concern on the baby's face.  _What have I agreed to here?_  he seemed to be asking.  
  
      _Sorry, little brother, but I'm not touching that crazy lady,_  Shigure thought back in response.  _You're on your own._ Kana squirmed slightly before settling, looking somewhat grumpy. "Mother, where is Father?" he asked quietly, looking up at her and the still cheerful and babbling Kamui.  
  
     "He's..." she looked up for a moment, and then back down. "Talking with your uncles near the west wall, near the big window. You can go ahead and head over to where he is if you want to."  
  
     "I'm sure Xander and my darling will be happy to see you," Camilla told him with another small smile. "And you can meet your cousin Shiro, too."  
  
     Shigure nodded, retreating fully behind the chair and ducking into the crowd, moving through it. "Who is that woman with Sir Laslow, anyways?" he heard a woman mutter as he went.  
  
     "No idea. I thought that he would definitely be marrying  _Onna-Bugeisha_  Hana from Hoshido... they seemed to really have something after the war," another lady replied.   
  
     He heard plenty of other whispers among the guests as he continued on his way, but that was just how things worked among people. Gossip ran like a river at events like this. He broke free of the crowd just before hitting the west wall to see his father as well as the other two kings, King Ryoma holding a squishy bundle of white cloth and lavender hair in the crook of one arm. King Xander was the first to notice his approach, though, granting him a warm smile. "Hello, little prince."  
  
     "Hello, Uncle," Shigure replied before looking up at his father and King Ryoma. "Uncle Ryoma, Shiro, Father."  
  
     "What are you doing over here, kiddo?" Corrin asked.  
  
     "I want to talk to you," Shigure replied promptly. "I just met Lady Morgan."  
  
     Corrin arched an eyebrow, turning toward him with one hand on his hip. "I told you I'd tell you that story at bedtime."  
  
     "You said at or  _before_ bedtime," Shigure corrected. "I think that this counts as before bedtime."   
  
     "Is this the story I think it is?" King Ryoma asked, adjusting his grip on his sleeping son.  
  
     "Wait, did Xander tell you?" Corrin turned back to his older brothers.   
  
     "No, Sakura wrote me a letter on the subject, as Hana was involved." King Ryoma chuckled softly. "I have to say, I'm very grateful to have it in writing. It's delightful to reread."  
  
     "I believe we're all thinking of the same recent escapade, then," King Xander remarked dryly. "Very well, Corrin. I won't be the hapless individual between Shigure and a good story, so Ryoma and I will take our leave."  
  
     "Have fun, you two," King Ryoma remarked, turning away.  
  
     Shigure waved after his uncles as they disappeared back into the crowd, and then looked up at his father expectantly. "Well with that sort of prompting, I suppose I have no choice," Corrin muttered before he grinned. "Not that I mind telling this story too much, and I think that means your uncles will be handling the guests in my stead. Be sure to thank them later, all right?"  
  
     "I will," Shigure promised. "Now tell it please."  
  
     "I have to warn you, it's a very silly story."  
  
     "Laslow and the strange lady are involved, of  _course_ it is." Corrin arched both eyebrows at him, but Shigure just puffed his cheeks out. " _Please._ "  
  
     "Fine, fine, I'll get started," Corrin chuckled, the attempt at a scolding look sliding away quickly. "Alright, just to remind you- Laslow, Selena, Odin, and the Lady Morgan are from a land called Ylisse that is only reachable through the Dragon's Gate, or Outrealm gate, as the trio have taken to calling it. They were summoned here by-"  
  
     "The dragon of Valla Anankos's good side," Shigure continued. "He asked them to protect you and to kill him for the sake of all three kingdoms."  
  
     "Yes, which meant that with his death and the shattering of the item that he gave them to go home, they thought that they were stuck here forever. Or at least, Laslow did." Corrin shook his head with a soft sigh. "I know that people have trouble communicating, but seriously. These stories I give you don't often have morals, but this one has two. One, think before you act, and two, if your sorcerer friend starts taking excessive trips to the Dragon's Gate, ask  _why_. Especially before continuing with steadily dating a woman when it's entirely possible for your wife to pop up due to those trips."  
  
     Shigure grinned. "And?"  
  
     Corrin couldn't help but grin back. "And our story begins just before Laslow escorts Hana to a Hoshidan Festival..."  
  
\--------------------  
  
     Laslow sighed, looking at his reflection in the mirror and giving it his best smile.  _Still lying to yourself, eh kid?_  "Shut up, Father," he murmured- still slightly alarmed by how well he still remembered the man's voice after ten years of separation. "This is going to be a good day, I'm going to take the most beautiful woman in Touma to a festival because she really needs a break from constantly protecting Princess Sakura, and we are going to have the time of our lives. She likes you, Laslow, there is no way she'd be dating you still if she didn't." He rolled his eyes. "Believe me, you have  _more_ than enough prior experience to know that."  
  
     Five years. That's how long he and Hana had been dating.  
  
     Things had started simply during the war. Hana had caught his eye, like many other women had since he had decided to move on from his life in Ylisse after they had entered Valla. He'd called her lovely, she'd of course brushed him off, but he had been curious as to what she would look like with a lovely shade of lipstick and had thus pressed her gently about it. One thing led to another... and he'd realized that he actually loved her with a fire only a little less intense than it had been for Morgan. So they had started a relationship, one that allowed her to continue being devoted to Lady Sakura and him to have enough space to get used to being in love again all while still getting to know each other. During the war, it had been easy. Passions had been running high as tensions gave way to shared danger, and fighting was something he'd been doing all his life. Afterwards, they had both needed to adjust to the peace. A peace between Nohr and Hoshido, which neither side expected to see in their lifetimes. A peace without crazy magical shenanigans and late-night talks about strategies that could be used for things other than war. A peace without his wife.  
  
     He shook his head. In any case, times were different and he had moved on. He was never going to see Morgan again, it was a risk that all three of them had been prepared for- perhaps the other two more than he had been. Hana didn't deserve to have a man who saw another woman hovering in her shadow- likely ready to chop him into tiny bits with her Falchion, her normally bright dark brown eyes filled with deadly fury. He had to keep reminding himself that he wasn't cheating when he flirted with other women- they were probably right when they thought his flattery shallow nowadays, but it that wasn't the case with Hana. He loved her, and she had picked him up several times when she could have left him sitting in the dirt, so he was pretty sure he felt the same way. Though he did still want to wait to propose. Having a girlfriend had been odd for five years, having another wife would feel even weirder he was certain. They would get to that point when he was the man she deserved.  
  
     Today was going to be a good day. He managed to give the mirror a far more sincere smile, smoothed down his navy blue mercenary jacket, and then headed out of the tavern room that he and his friends were currently staying in, moving down the stairs. Not that Selena and Odin had really been  _staying_ in there, busy with some project or other of Odin's that he felt like he should ask about but really didn't want to suffer through the explanation of. He'd gotten better at understanding his friend, but he still wasn't  _good_ at it.   
  
     Speak of the devil. He blinked as he stepped down the stairs just in time to see Selena tackle Odin in a hug, sobbing, but she was smiling through her tears. Odin was more of the same, and he could hear him murmuring muffled words into her hair. He stared at the scene for a moment, watching as Odin twirled Selena about, before the idea that perhaps the couple finally had a baby on the way came to mind. That would actually make a lot of sense with how long they had been a couple. He gave a small smile, but quietly slipped past. He had a date today, after all, and he was sure Odin would break the news to everyone else eventually. They could have their moment for now. It was high past time, after all.  
  
     He got outside the tavern without incident, heading toward the store that Hana had said she would be at with Lady Sakura today. There was to be a festival just across the border in one of Hoshidan town that had been rebuilt after being sacked in the war, and he was definitely excited to be going. One could say what they liked about the Hoshidans, but they threw  _amazing_ parties. His slight smile grew into his usual grin when he saw the lady and Hana stepping out of the store, Hana looking absolutely fantastic in her pink flowery kimono and with her light brown hair done up, though he noted that she still held her sword, just like he did. Renegade Faceless still roaming about and all... one could never be too careful, and he'd never been able to part with his weapon in any realm anyways. He lifted a hand, breaking into a jog. "Hana!"  
  
     Both women looked toward him, Hana's smile lighting up her whole face. "Hey, Laslow," she greeted him before looking back toward Lady Sakura hesitantly. "Will you be all right on your own, milady?"  
  
     "L-Leo is just down the s-street," Lady Sakura replied, amusement clear in her tone and on her face as she made a small shooing motion with her hands. "Go h-have fun, Hana. Y-you too, Laslow."  
  
     "Of course, milady." He gave her a sweeping bow and a wink, causing her to giggle and Hana to roll her eyes, but it gave him the chance to gently loop his arm around Hana's and lead her down the street. "Our carriage awaits."  
  
      "You actually got a carriage?" Her grin grew, and he noticed that she was wearing the sakura shade of lipstick. She must have bought another stick of it. "Gods, Laslow, why do you insist on spoiling me?"  
  
      "Because you are beautiful and you deserve it," he replied, leading her up to the corner where the carriage was indeed waiting. This was all going very smoothly, which made him very excited to actually get to the festival. Dates had a bad habit of going south quickly for him.  
  
      "Flattery," she scoffed, but she was still smiling as they entered the carriage and actually got on the road. "I heard that you were staying with your friends while we were down here?"  
  
       "Yes, only for the night, though, and they weren't really around while I was there," Laslow chuckled. "Odin's busy with some project or other."  
  
       "Something you didn't want to suffer through the explanation of, I assume."  
  
       "You know me well, love," Laslow replied ruefully, shaking his head, but Hana actually laughed at his response. The conversation quickly turned to how the past few months had been and him asking about the nature of this festival, since he knew that Lady Sakura had been consulted on planning it despite the fact that she lived with her husband in Nohr, until the carriage pulled to a halt and he opened the door for her to step out.  
  
       She did, still grinning and visibly relaxing in the festive atmosphere. This was  _definitely_ a Hoshidan party, but people from all walks of life were here. No one gave him and Hana a second glance as they walked away from the carriage and toward the different booths that were selling various items, arm-in-arm. "Did you know?" she asked, bringing his attention away from the band on a stage near the center of the colorful flags and as yet unlit lanterns. "This is Mozu's village."  
  
       "Is it really?" he asked in surprise, before his smile grew a bit. "Well I'm doubly glad to be here for the festivities, then. Do you think she's here as well?" That broad smile gained a cheeky edge. "Maybe showing Silas her old stomping grounds?"  
  
       "I don't doubt it." Hana smiled, a cheeky edge to hers as well as she dragged him over to a booth that was selling odd-looking green cookies. "Let's get a couple of these- and a box for Lady Sakura as well."  
  
       "These are called " _matcha_ ," right?" he asked, getting his coin purse out to pay for the order. "A type of tea?"  
  
       "Yes, yes, but the powder can go into several types of sweets as well- it's milady's second favorite type of sweet. Her favorite-"  
  
       "Is the red bean paste sweets-  _daifuku_ , right?" She nodded, obviously pleased that he had remembered. "Those are delicious, she has excellent taste."  
  
       "I know, right? Here-" she thrust his green cookie at him, and he carefully took it from her, taking a bite. Huh. Not bad, actually. There was chocolate in these, and it complimented the unfamiliar earthy, somewhat bitter flavor nicely. "Delicious, isn't it?"  
  
       "Definitely," he replied, returning her grin as they continued to walk past the colorful booths and the dancers in the square, turning back to quickly finishing it off before he spoke again with a slightly coyer smile. "Not as delicious as you, though."  
  
       "Bah." Hana shook her head at him, but she was still smiling, and she pulled him aside somewhat briskly into a somewhat quieter area near the stage. "You really think so?" she asked softly.  
  
       "I do," he chuckled softly. "Why would I say something I didn't think was true?"  
  
       "I remember at one point during the war..."  
  
       "Shhhh, we agreed not to talk about that." He clicked his tongue but was still smiling at her. "And besides, sakura  _is_ your favorite shade and the lipstick does look lovely on you, so no harm done, yes?"  
  
       "No harm done, no." She put her hands on his shoulders. "Just me committing to a relationship that seemed like such a bad idea at the time."  
  
       "But you don't regret it, right?" he questioned as the band onstage finished the lively festival tune they had been playing, smile still in place as she leaned in close. She answered by closing the distance, the feeling of the lipstick on his lips oddly satisfying, though he wasn't at all used to it. She still kissed the same, with or without it-  
  
       " _INIGO!_ "  
  
       The scream had him nearly jumping out of his skin and breaking away from Hana before he could even register anything. He still couldn't register what what was going on as the young woman with dark blue hair stalked toward him. Same coat. Same smoldering dark brown eyes. Same ring on her finger on the hand that was waving the same Falchion. "How  _dare_ you? It's only been ten years, you menace, and already you're going around kissing floozies-"  
  
       " _FLOOZIES?!_ " Hana exclaimed indignantly, her own sword out before Laslow could even breathe. "I'm sorry miss, but I'm his girlfriend. Who in the realms are you?"  
  
       "I'm his  _wife!_ " Morgan yelled, pointing at him. "So you can understand that I'm upset to see some other woman-"  
  
       "How dare you!" Hana surged forward, and Morgan quickly caught the blade with Falchion, shoving her back into the stage, but Hana quickly regained her feet just as Morgan surged forward.  
  
      "You'll pay for this!" The blades clashed again. "I am Aether!Morgan, Destroyer of Worlds, and I do not take insults of this nature without bringing considerable pain to the person who has wronged me!"  
  
\--------------------  
  
     "Wait. Wait, wait, wait." Shigure held his hands up, staring skeptically at his father. "She said that? "I am Aether-Exclamation-Point-Morgan, Destroyer of Worlds?" She said that. Out loud. In  _public?_ "  
  
     "I solemnly swear it was so!" Corrin nodded firmly, and then gave a soft snort of laughter when Shigure's skeptical expression didn't fade. "Okay, I solemnly swear that Laslow solemnly swore it was so. But I did do a bit of fact-checking, some of the other Shepherds decided to attend the party for the twins as well." Shigure blinked in interest. "You can seek them out later if you want to. They say that what happened out there is completely believable and most everyone in the army believes that Lady Morgan's head isn't mortared on quite straight."  
  
     Shigure glanced back toward where his mother was still sitting and the lady in question was talking animatedly to Beruka who had appeared at Queen Camilla's shoulder, the queen herself the one holding and cooing over Kana now. Remembering his and Lady Morgan's strange, but brief conversation about tome stackers, he simply said, "I can believe it. So she and Hana were fighting?"  
  
     "Yes, causing quite a bit more damage to the town around them before Laslow tried to stop them. Unfortunately, both of them realized in that moment how angry both of them should be at  _him._  So they turned on him, he defended himself best he could, caused even  _more_ property damage, and all three were ultimately arrested."  
  
     "Uncle Xander probably wasn't very happy about that," Shigure noted.  
  
     "No, no he wasn't." Corrin shook his head, a serious expression crossing his face for the first time since he'd begun the story. "But since your uncle considered Laslow a friend, he was also bewildered and worried. Definitely wanting an explanation, a clear one this time."  
  
     "A clear one? What did he give the first time?"  
  
     "Well, because they knew about Valla, but were under the effects of the curse, the "trio" had to keep just where they came from, and why, a secret. So, they were extremely tight-lipped about their homelands, as you would remember." Shigure nodded. "But while Selena was acidic when the past was brought up, almost to the point of burning anyone who asked, and Odin's "explanations" were drowned in floweriness that no one could interpret, Laslow was just plain vague. One time, when Xander expressed some...concern about Laslow's flirting, Laslow admitted once that there was a woman he cared deeply about, but she was far beyond his grasp. Xander assumed said woman had either died or rejected Laslow's affections."  
  
     "I don't really blame Uncle Xander for thinking that. I still can't completely wrap my head around the Dragon Gate," Shigure muttered.  
  
     "Oh you don't know the half of it." Corrin's sharp grin came creeping back. "I still haven't properly explained who Morgan is." Shigure raised an eyebrow in question. "Alright, do you remember me explaining earlier about Chrom and the Halidom of Ylisse?" Shigure nodded. "And you remember that Selena, Odin and Laslow were amongst a group of people from the future that followed Chrom's daughter to save the past?" Another nod. "Well, said daughter Princess Lucina married Chrom's tactician Robin since everyone was about the same age." The grin only grew at Shigure's blink. "Then  _their_ daughter from some offshoot future showed up and that daughter was Morgan."  
  
     "So uh... Let me get this straight. Chrom is the father of how many kids?"  
  
     "Two daughters from the future that are around his age, and two daughters that are far younger." Corrin's grin broadened. "His eldest daughter is the Lucina from the future and his "third" daughter is the Lucina from the present, so they're technically the same person."  
  
     "And how many grandkids?"  
  
     "Two, currently. One being Lady Morgan, whom you've been acquainted with and the other being the recently born Morgan from their timeline."  
  
     "So Chrom is a father of four and a grandfather of two all at... pretty young."  
  
     "I know what you're thinking." Shigure gave his father a skeptical look, hands invading his hair now, and the grin only grew again. "Why hasn't the universe exploded yet? Well it's not because some people aren't trying hard enough."  
  
     "I had no idea that it was even possible for anyone to have a weirder family dynamic than ours," Shigure muttered.  
  
     "Ohhhhh, ours could be worse than even Chrom's," Corrin remarked lightly.  
  
     " _How?_ "  
  
     "Well, we could have had you kids during the war instead of waiting, and to protect you we could have placed you in Deeprealms. It was actually discussed, but there were a  _lot_ of vetoes, for obvious reasons. One of those reasons being that time passes much faster in those realms. One day for us is six months for anyone in those realms, so we'd completely miss your childhoods. Though, Azama did joke that we could have you guys fight beside us later, and it would have made our job in Valla much easier. You'd be about our ages in a few weeks, so he claimed we couldn't really feel bad about it."  
  
     A shudder made it's way through Shigure's body, and silently swore to forget what his father had just told him. He also silently hoped that Aunt Hinoka had punched Azama for suggesting that. "Can we get back to the story please?"  
  
\--------------------  
  
     Laslow had been in this position many a time, sitting before his lord's desk while Xander sat across from him, quietly parsing the story of his retainer's latest...mishap, though not as often as he had before he'd started dating Hana. Sitting here like a child being scolded by Henry once again, the concern in his king's red-brown eyes more painful than the resignation and annoyance that he was used to. "And that's what happened?" Xander asked once again.

     "That's what happened," Laslow sighed, looking down at his hands that were clenched together on top of the desk. “I… I had no idea that traveling to Ylisse was even possible anymore. After the orb that Anankos gave us shattered, going anywhere should have been impossible. The Dragon’s Gate is like the Outrealm Gate in Ylisse in the fact that it only goes to alternate timelines of this world, though I suppose that’s not the case any longer.”

     “Obviously not,” Xander replied with a soft sigh, rubbing his temple. “Well, that is quite the story... Inigo." Laslow gave a slight, pained smile at his Ylissean name, though hearing it was honestly something of relief. "Thank you for the clear and concise explanation this time, even if it all is a bit much to take in. I know that Odin and Selena shared similar stories with Leo and Camilla respectively while you and the other two were incarcerated. They’ve both gone to share that selfsame story with Corrin, along with a bit more concerning him and Anankos, and they expressed their regret that you wouldn’t be there for that.”

     “Ah.” Right. Lord Corrin’s true parentage. “I regret not being there, but they’ll be able to get the message across without me.” He gave a small, somewhat shaky smile. “Besides, seems I have my own mess to take care of. I apologize for making you bail me out of prison again.”

     “And again, considering the circumstances, I forgive you.” Xander sighed, leaning back in his chair. “It could even be argued that you aren’t truly at fault, but you  _do_ need to salvage the situation in a manner that does right by both women.” He met Laslow’s gaze with his own stern one. “Not in the same way as my father would have, though.”

     “Never, milord,” Laslow replied immediately, a small thrill of horror running through him at the very thought of marrying both Hana and Morgan or worse, having Hana as a concubine of all things. She would never stand for it, she deserved better.

     Xander gave a small, approving nod, and then picked up the bell on his desk, giving it a short ring. Peri poked her head in. “Could you bring our guests in, Peri?” Xander asked, and she gave a broad grin, blue and pink pigtails bouncing as she nodded and then stepped out, closing the door once again. “They’ve been talking about this for awhile, I believe,” Xander told Laslow gently. “They both fell in love with you, so I assume that they know you well enough to know that you will do anything necessary to make this up to them.”

     Laslow gave a soft, helpless chuckle, shaking his head. “Seems they aren’t the only ones who know me so well.”

     They both looked up, Xander settling into his kingly posture once again as Peri entered the room with Hana and Morgan, the eyes of both immediately boring into Laslow. “Well, ladies?” Xander prompted. “Whatever it is that you require of him, he is willing. Have you decided?”

     Hana and Morgan looked at each other, and then Morgan gave that wolfish grin of hers that promised calamity while Hana gave a similar smirk. “It’s been so long since Inigo’s taken me on a date, and I diiiiiid kinda rudely interrupt the one he was having with Hana the other day,” Morgan replied, looking back to Xander and then to Laslow. “So, it’s morning. Let’s have a day out together, all three of us.”

     “All… three?” Laslow questioned.

     “You, me, and Morgan,” Hana replied, crossing her arms. “We were talking about you in prison and the topic of popular date spots in the Outrealms came up. Since travel between realms is apparently stable now and we have all day, we could probably hit all of them.”

     “…That’s fair,” Laslow admitted. Even if it wasn’t, what was he going to do? And a date couldn’t be too bad, even if the idea of taking them both at the same time wasn’t all that appealing.

     “It’s a date, then!” Morgan giggled, pumping her fists. “Let’s get going!”

     “One moment.” Xander slid his chair back a pace, opening his desk drawer and pulling out a relatively large pouch and holding it out to Laslow. “About 30,000 gold as an allowance for these two.”

     “30,000?” Laslow asked incredulously but took the pouch when Xander gestured for him to. “I appreciate it milord, but-“

     “Believe me, old friend.” Xander settled back into his chair, face grim and fingers steepled in front of his face. “You’ll be needing it. Now go on. Don’t keep them waiting.”

     “Yes, Laslow, you know how much I enjoy being kept waiting,” Hana added, taking hold of one of his arms.

     “I haven’t been spoiled by you in ages, Inigo! Let’s hit these places!” Morgan cheered, taking his other arm.

     Together they virtually dragged him from the room, and the last thing Laslow heard before the door closed behind him was Peri’s cheerful but very much teasing “Have fuuuuuuuuunnnnn!”  
  
\--------------------

     “A date was all they wanted? Really?” Shigure tilted his head. “That doesn’t sound so bad.”

     Corrin just grinned again, looking out over the crowd to see if anyone needed him and Shigure inwardly sighed, remembering that they were indeed at a public function and that every time he interrupted from here on out, Corrin would probably start doing this. Responsible king stuff, which he kind of had to uphold in public. “It didn’t to Laslow, either, but you’re both forgetting who’s involved. Also, the places Lady Morgan and Hana were talking about? Laslow only shared a few tidbits about them with me, and what went on when he took the ladies there. So, this part of the story is going to be a bit more vague."”

     “That’s fair,” Shigure replied, giving a small shrug. “So how crazy did things get?”

     “Well,” Corrin began, turning his gaze back to his son, “By mid-morning, they were in a land of perpetual autumn at a festival…”  
  
\--------------------

     "The vase is a really pretty shade of pink, Inigo," Morgan told him, pointing at the prize that Hana was trying to get by playing a dart-themed carnival game. "Like the flowers on the cherry blossom tree Grandpa got as a gift from Chon'sin."  
  
     "They're called sakura trees in Hoshido," Laslow told her, still trying to get used to hearing his old name and having her on his arm. She’d grown up some over the past ten years- okay, a lot- but her nature and eyes were still as chaotic as ever. She was still as beautiful as ever. And the fact that Hana was still here was giving him a feeling akin to getting thrown off a horse. “It’s… Hana’s favorite color.”

      “That it is. Laslow and I actually started dating over it,” Hana agreed, carefully taking aim with her dart.

      “I’m still kind of mad about that, but Hana did tell me the story and it is really cute.” Morgan stood up on her tiptoes, pressing a kiss to Laslow’s cheek and immediately making his face turn a rosy shade of pink. “You’ve gotten so much better at flirting in the past ten years, haven’t you?” she cooed, batting her eyes. “Not that there was much to improve from in the first place, but the fact that you improved at  _all_ is impressive in of itself. The sakura shade would look good on me too, don’t you think?”

     “I um, I uh...” Good grief he’d forgotten how forward she was. “Well, yeah-“

      _Thwack!_ “Yesssss!” Hana threw her hands into the air in triumph, and the man in charge of the booth handed over the vase, shooting Laslow a dirty look as Hana immediately came over and kissed his cheek as well. “Thanks for the money, love, even if His Majesty is the one who’s really paying for this trip. Speaking of which, the food here smells absolutely delicious if really weird.”

     “Pffff, what do you mean weird?” Morgan asked, arching an eyebrow. “Pies and caramel apples don’t exist in Nohr?”

     “Those do,” Hana replied, taking Laslow’s other arm as they dragged him over to a food booth. “The weird ropy bread with sugar on top doesn’t, though.”

     “You’ve never had  _funnel cake_?” Morgan cried, looking absolutely aghast. “Inigo, two funnel cakes, now!”

     “Okay, okay,” he replied quickly, gently easing his arms away from both of them.

     “Better get an apple pie, too,” Hana told him as he opened the pouch once again. “You know that’s my favorite of those ridiculously sweet Nohrian desserts.”

     “Ylissean pies are the best,” Morgan told her. “We have them all the time, meat pies, apple pies, pumpkin pies, rhubarb pies-“

     “What in the name of the five divine weapons is rhubarb?”

     “You’ve never had a  _rhubarb pie_? That was my mom’s childhood!”

     “I’m going to have to get one of those pies this evening, aren’t I?” Laslow muttered, looking over the menu and confirming his suspicion that those were indeed not sold here.

     “You sure your lady friends are going to be able to eat all of this?” the vendor asked, arching an eyebrow as money and food were exchanged.

     “Morgan will, and will have room to spare,” Laslow replied grimly, very carefully picking up the hot cakes and pie. “And Hana isn’t above eating contests.”   
  
\--------------------

     “After spending their time there, they went to a beach in a realm that has constant summer weather.”  
  
\--------------------

      “I knew this shade of pink would look good on me!” Morgan squealed, twirling around in the sand in her new sakura-pink bikini. It did look really good, complementing her wild dark brown eyes and dark blue hair. He’d appreciate it more if he himself was not stuck in a pair of dark blue swimming trunks. Gods he’d forgotten how much he hated the Hotrealm, it was so, so awkward here.

     “You’re very beautiful, Morgan,” he replied, and turned back to Hana when she cleared her throat. “And white is a gorgeous shade on you, Hana.” It was, and the conservative white swimsuit with the little mini-skirt was definitely more her style.

     “Glad to hear you think so,” was Hana’s dry response as she finished pinning up her long brown hair into a messy bun. “I have to say though, this place is nice.”

     “Yep! And the only danger this time is sunburn.” Morgan held out a bottle of sunscreen to Laslow with her usual bright grin. “You’ll apply it, right? I don’t want today to end on a sour note because I got red as a crab while hunting for them.”

     “We’re going to go hunting crabs?” he asked, squirting the sunscreen where she gestured for him to and rubbing it in, fervently hoping that the redness he felt creeping over his face looked like a sunburn. He hadn’t touched her like this in so long… and he and Hana had never gotten quite this close with this much skin showing.

     “You know how much I love to catch them!” She giggled. “Hana and I can play with one of the little guys while we’re sunbathing, and he can nibble your toes again.”

     “Morgan-“

     “They nibble his toes?” Hana questioned, definite interest in her voice.

     “They  _pinch_  my toes, Hana,” Laslow corrected with a soft sigh. “With these jagged bear-trap sort of appendages. And it  _hurts_.”

     “We’ll definitely have to go looking for them then,” Hana replied with a decisive nod, and Laslow sighed again as he finished rubbing the sunscreen on Morgan’s back. “After you do that to me, of course,” she amended, holding out her arms. “I’m not going home sunburned, and though it’s hard for me to get to that point, I still don’t want one.”

      “Of course not,” he replied, getting started.

      “After we’re finished playing with the crab, we can get some of the already cooked crab they sell here,” Morgan suggested, waving her hands. “It tastes so good! Oh, and we’ll have to buy souvenirs.”

      “What sort of souvenirs do they sell here?” Hana asked, interest back in her voice.

      “Well, we’re keeping the swimsuits, of course. Right, Inigo?”

      “If you want to keep them, I’ll buy them for you,” he replied quietly, gently applying the sunscreen to Hana’s shoulders.

      A passing woman in a swimsuit of her own shot Laslow a rather dirty look. No doubt she was thinking that two ladies of such standing such as Morgan and Hana should each be here with a man of their own, and that neither of those men should be a cad who had the audacity to be touching two ladies like he was some pervert dating both of them at once.  
  
\--------------------  
  
     "And finally, they went to the Bathrealm to soak in the springs and have dinner."  
  
\--------------------

     A date couldn’t be too bad. A  _date_ couldn’t be  _too bad!_  Laslow needed to find Odin and have him write that sentence in his “famous last words” section of his Manual of Justice, it might somewhat vindicate him and his feelings toward this entire day.

     How did this somehow feel worse than the time he’d been mugged over tea and been left with nothing but his pants? He watched the women chattering over the last rhubarb pie- he’d lost count of how many accursed pies he’d bought. And, since he was trying not to spend a lot of Xander’s money while still giving the women everything they wanted (and was still failing), he hadn’t eaten anything all day. And so, here he was, trying (unsuccessfully) to stay upright as he sat at the table and ignoring the pointed looks from all the other guests. Anna had given him a look of understanding sympathy, but the amusement in her eyes had given away that she didn’t feel that bad for him. In any case, the people who were looking at him enviously he couldn’t blame… the two women were visions in their matching pink kimonos. He couldn’t blame the judgmental glares either, he was a degenerate and a cad and that was  _why he was here_.

     Why hadn’t he waited for Morgan? She’d obviously waited for him, she’d waited  _ten years_  for him. She’d kissed him so many times today, more than Hana had, though the samurai had her fair share as well. How in the name of Naga had King Garon managed to do this his entire married life? Did he have no soul before Anankos had possessed him? Or did he just have no impulse control?

     “Oooof, I think I’m finally full.” He blinked, looking up at the women again to see them both looking at him. “Inigo, do you think you could give us both belly massages?” Morgan asked with her continued wide grin. “Help with digestion and all that? And then we could run around to the springs again?”

      Really? He wouldn’t mind doing it for one, but… aaah, he’d said that he would do right by both of them, he’d  _promised._  He turned his gaze back to the table. “Give me a minute,” he replied quietly.

      “I swear, Morgan, I thought you’d never stop,” Hana remarked. “What, you got a dragon in your family or something?”  
  
     “Two of them,” Morgan replied cheekily. “One on each side of the family.”  
  
     “...Well, that explains it. I can’t even remember the last time I pigged out like that. I swear, one more bite, and I’ll explode. So, Laslow, how about you lend us those magic hands of yours?”  
  
     Inigo had a sudden vision of the two girls capping off the evening by spending hours belching into his face, and he could’ve sworn his vision was turned glassy. The silence was almost deafening as he tried to muster up the will to move when he just wanted this long day to be over. And then he heard the slight swishing sound of Hana’s hair. “Okay, okay, never mind.” He blinked, looking up to see her giving him a small smile before she turned to Morgan. “I think it’s about time we tell him, don’t you think?”

      “Probably.” Morgan looked a tad bit guilty now. “I mean, jeez, that was a scary look, Inigo.”

      “How do you mean?” he asked, a bewildered look crossing his face.

      “She means you’ve been looking like a kicked puppy ever since we crossed into the Hotrealm and just now you looked like a dying puppy that was about to be shot,” Hana replied, blunt as ever while Morgan got up and moved around the table to give him a small hug. He did his best not to stiffen in her grasp. “As it stands, you are hereby forgiven by Hana of Hoshido.” Hana grinned. “Though we are totally breaking up.”

      “What?” He stared at her. He was forgiven? Just like that?

      “See, we kind of already talked over the whole thing with each other and Xander,” Morgan replied, releasing him and sitting down on the bench next to him. “And even I have to admit… you’re not at fault here.” She smiled gently. “Thanks to what you said to Xander, I know you were thinking of me and for the sake of the gods, you waited five whole years before actually falling in love again. For you, that’s pretty good.”

      “You deserve better.” Laslow averted his gaze. “You both do.”

      “This isn’t about what I deserve, it’s about what I want, you dolt.” Morgan took hold of his chin, bringing his gaze back to hers. There were tears in her eyes. “I didn’t wait for ten years to see my brave husband who faced two- count them,  _two_ \- giant calamity dragons turn his gaze away from mine because he thinks he’s not worthy to stand beside me. You’re a good man, Laslow. You just made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes.”

      “And you’re a lucky man to have such a plucky girl in your life,” Hana added, voice gentle. “I’ve seen the way you look at her Laslow. It’s the same way you looked at me, but the fire’s more real.”

      “…Yeah.” He turned back to Hana, tears in his own eyes now. “Sorry for this. All of this.”

      “It’s fine.” Hana shook her head with a small smile. “We’ll always have those five years and all the moments we shared, and I know you’ll be happy with her. I can get home on my own if you two want-“

      “Noooo! That would be horribly rude of us!” Morgan exclaimed.

      “She’s absolutely right,” Laslow agreed, the first real smile he’d given today breaking out on his face. “We’ll walk you home, Hana. We have the rest of our lives to have quiet moments alone together, after all.”  
  
\--------------------  
  
       "And Hana is single once again, though both Subaki and Keaton are eager to get into her good graces. Laslow did tell me that his and Morgan's relationship is entirely repaired, and she is raring for a baby girl, especially since Selena actually is newly pregnant right now," Corrin chuckled. "He said he likes the name Soleil if they get that lucky."  
  
       "That just brings up the whole ridiculousness of the Chrom situation again." Shigure shook his head. "Does he  _want_ to be a great-grandfather?"  
  
       "No." Chrom grinned. "But his wife does want to be a great-grandmother and Morgan wants a daughter, so he's fighting a losing battle there. As for Robin and Lucina, they're in quite a dither over the idea. "Oh, gods, I've turned into Chrom!" and all that. But Morgan is a force of nature. After she and Selena have their babies, Robin, Lucina, Henry, Olivia, Frederick, Cordelia, Lon'qu, and Lissa will  _all_  be very young grandparents. Maybe they'll start a club?"

       "I might have to ask the other Shepherds about that whole headache-causing timeline thing," Shigure muttered.  
  
       "Probably for the best. That's the end of the story, though." Corrin looked back over the crowd, and Shigure saw King Xander beckoning for his father to come over. "I have to go soon, so that's opportune. One last thing you should probably know, though."  
  
       "What is it, Father?" Shigure asked.  
  
       Corrin gave him a bit of a gentler smile. "Lady Morgan and Hana took Laslow's mistake so well because, despite his tendencies, he was always a perfect gentleman to the two of them. Manners make a lot of things more forgivable, and as you know all too well due to this story and my own experiences with your mother, women can be vicious. I'd always be a gentleman to the ladies if I were you, son- unless, of course, they are swinging a sword at you."  
  
        Shigure watched his father step back into the crowd, heading toward King Xander and a nobleman he didn't recognize, mulling over his father's words. He had to admit, Father had a point. In fact, proof sprang to mind as he recalled Sir Silas and Dame Mozu's little girl, Sophie. She'd often pick flowers to give to him but, since she was the clumsiest girl he'd ever even heard of, she always mangled them terribly. Still, as his parents always said, it was the thought that counts, and he decided he could be a bit nicer next time.


End file.
